If It’s Broke…. Don’t Try to Fix It Part One


This is the time of year where there are birthday parties, holiday parties, and just the overall theme of getting together with friends. Because I have FOMO (fear of missing out) I usually attend everything regardless of how my body feels. Most people cannot go at the pace I go.

I admit it… I’ve been slacking on my posts.  So much has been going on.  In the last 2 weeks I lost 2 of my great aunts.  Both of them lived long fulfilling lives but most of all they lived life on their own terms.  And with the recent death of Paul Walker it has me thinking a lot about life and making sure we live it to the fullest and on our own terms.  Lately I have been making it a point to enjoy life and every single moment we have here on earth.  This isn’t a dress rehearsal this is the real thing.  My biggest fear is waking up at the age of 60 and realizing I have let life pass me by.  I will NOT let that happen. Okay I already digressed…

This is the time of year where there are birthday parties, holiday parties, and just the overall theme of getting together with friends.  Because I have FOMO (fear of missing out) I usually attend everything regardless of how my body feels.  Most people cannot go at the pace I go.  But like I said, this isn’t a dress rehearsal this is the real thing.  Not to mention, whenever people ask me how I meet the various guys I go out with, you’ll never hear me say, “He magically appeared at my house.”  Why?   Because you have to get out there and meet folks.  The other weekend was one of those crazy weekends.  One of my girlfriends was celebrating her birthday and the crew went out to Kiss N Grind.  I know the name sounds real suspect.  But Kiss N Grind is a party in LA that is usually once every 2 months where you go to dance and sweat.  It’s not the typical Hollywood party where people are standing around trying to be cute.  You put on your comfortable dance shoes and you just dance your cares away.  In addition to the numerous glasses of Champagne I consumed that night and all the dancing.  I partied like I was 21 again and the next morning I woke up with a massive hangover, swollen feet, and my mascara smeared all over my face.  Funny thing is no matter how drunk I am I always manage to wrap my hair in my scarf.  And another side note:  what is it about champagne that makes me get so damn drunk and hung-over?  I spent that day recuperating from the hangover.  This encompassed starting the day off with a greasy turkey burger and fat fries from Fatburger and going to get my nails done and drinking what seemed to be gallons of water all day.  I hadn’t been this hung-over in a long time.  Lesson learned… I am no longer 21 I am a woman in my mid 30’s!

I finally felt like I was 85% to normalcy and head out to another girlfriend’s surprise party that evening.  It was at a cool spot and very low key.  While on the dance floor my friend’s husband grabbed a guy from the side and pulled him on the dance floor to dance with me.  It was a pleasant surprise.  He was tall, handsome, and he seemed real cool.  We danced all night and talked.  “Larry” walked me out to my car and even called me later on that evening.  We talked on the phone until 1 in the morning.  When I woke up the next morning I was greeted by a nice text message from “Larry.”

It was great meeting you.  I look forward to hanging out with you again soon.

“Larry” was off to a nice start.  When he called me later on that evening we made plans to go to Perch in Downtown LA the next evening.  I loved that spot.  It had great views of Downtown LA.  He showed up looking good.  We ordered a nice Bordeaux and proceeded to get to know each other.  “Larry” was raised in…. Carson, CA.  What the fuck?!  Why did I keep meeting men from Carson?  I tried not to pre-judge him based on my ex, and the last 3 guys I went out with from Carson.  I really was practicing being open to endless possibilities.  My inner loving devastated coaching me, Okay Monique, there must be  a reason why you keep meeting men who are from Carson.  God is trying to teach you something.  BE open and for the love of God don’t roll your eyes!

As we continued to converse I discovered “Larry” sold car insurance and he was 49 years old!  Oh boy!  I was batting a thousand.  I like dating older men but “Larry” was turning 50 in 3 months!  And “Larry” had never been married, engaged, or in a long term relationship, and had no kids.  When a man is 43+ and fits this criteria he already get side eye but when a man is almost half a century old and fits this criteria I’m looking at him like, “What the fuck is your deal?”  As we sat there getting to know each other his phone started to vibrate.

Larry:  I’m sorry this is my landlord. Let me get this real quick.


Did this motherfucker say landlord?! Was I really out with a man who was almost 50, never been married, and had no kids who didn’t own his own place?

Did this motherfucker say landlord?!  Was I really out with a man who was almost 50, never been married, and had no kids who didn’t own his own place.  Now before you start judging me let me just say this.  I get that LA is expensive.  I’m not expecting a single man to live in a mansion.  Also, when a man has been married and divorced with kids and is paying child support and alimony I can completely understand him having financial issues. But this man was almost 50 damn years old.  What the hell was he doing?  But again, I realized I was jumping ahead and quite frankly I Was being a judgmental bitch.  Hell, I didn’t own my condo.  This man was really nice and I had to tell myself to have several seats.  We ended up having another glass of wine on the rooftop checking out the view and then “Larry” looked me in my eyes with the utmost sincerity.

Larry:  I’m worried I am not going to live up to your expectations.

ME:  What do you mean?

Larry:  You seem like the type that’s used to dating big time corporate executives, doctors, lawyers, or athletes.  I’m just worried I’m not going to measure up.

Me:  I have in the past.  But you’re college educated man.  You’re no slouch.

Larry:  I know.  I just want to make sure I can be on the level you’re used to.

That was honest.  Had I been so jaded and put myself in such a box when it came to dating that perhaps I was being too regimented?  I decided right then and there that I would really be open and give this brotha a chance.  So far he had been cool and very attentive.  I wasn’t going to downplay the red flags but I wasn’t going to put on my running shoes yet and scratch him off the list.

“Larry” walked me to my car.  He gave me a respectable kiss and he made plans to take me out again two nights later….


To Be Continued…       

Monique K.Bradley



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2 replies
  1. Divorced Kat
    Divorced Kat says:

    It’s a tough line to walk — being realistic about your expectations in a guy without being a dismissive bitch! Been there, done that… 😉 Curious to hear what happens next.

    • Monique K
      Monique K says:

      It’s so damn hard! I’m really trying to curtail my dismissive bitch side but these men make it so damn hard! Part 2 coming on Monday!


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