Colt 45 Part 2
*Finally bringing you part 2!!!!!!
Between the time that I was headed back east for the holidays and when I actually had plans to go out with “Marvin” again we were in constant communication. He was really pretty cool. I liked his energy and we had great conversations. He was on his grind about moving to LA. I could appreciate that until one evening we were having one of our marathon long phone conversation and the topic of his job search came up.
“Marvin”: I was checking the website of your company and I saw they had a few positions posted.
I took a deep breath and a long chug of my wine. This was one of the reasons I didn’t date upcoming actors, writers, directors, etc. because there is always that inevitable question that will come up when they realize you work for one of the major Hollywood studios and might have contacts. They always want you to bring their reel on the lot for one of the casting directors or get their script into the hands of one of the producers. I thought dating a man who wasn’t in the business I would not have to worry about it but obviously I was wrong. I decided not to be a total bitch about it.
“Marvin”: Do you have any contacts in HR?
Me: I do.
“Marvin”: Would it be possible for you to send them my resume?
ME: Well, “Marvin” this is the holidays. It doesn’t even make sense for me to send them your resume right now because the studio is pretty much shut down until the beginning of the year. So remind me then.
I figured that he would get the hint to shut the fuck up and let it go. But noooooo…. Why would he?!
“Marvin”: I went ahead and started submitting to the different positions just so my name could be at the top of the queue when they get back. I can send you the requisition numbers.
Me: What were some of the positions you were interested in?
“Marvin”: I saw there were coordinator positions.
Record screech to a halt. Did this 51 ½ year old man who allegedly ran a mortgage company and had a master’s degree ask me to submit his resume for a coordinator position? A coordinator position is typically an entry level job. It is a job someone who is fresh out of college would apply for or someone who is in their 20’s! Not a grown ass fucking man! Could you imagine me showing up to work and passing my husband’s cubicle one my way to my corner office?! Get the fuck out of here!
Me: “Marvin”, those are entry level positions. Why would you apply for an entry level job at this point in your life?
“Marvin”: I’m not in your industry so I didn’t know the differences between the various jobs.
Me: But didn’t you get a master’s degree? How could you not know that? Where did you get your master’s?
I didn’t realize I had actually said it out loud. I thought I had just said it in my mind.
“Marvin”: I got my master’s from Jones’s College.
Me: Where is that?
“Marvin”: It’s online.
Lawd have mercy on me! This man was becoming more and more unattractive. I told him my standard line.
Me: Send me your resume and I will see what I can do.
I knew full well that shit was going straight into the garbage. I was so turned off. I was about to cancel our next date. But I decided to go forward with it. Maybe I would realize I was overreacting… Which I knew I wasn’t. But at the very least I would have an interesting post. The things I do for my readers! LOL! Besides it was my best friend’s son’s birthday party so I wasn’t going to be too far from ““Marvin”.” As I was leaving my girlfriends house I asked her the quickest route to get to “Marvin’s” house. When I gave her the address she stopped dead in her tracks.
Girlfriend: Where does he live?
Me: East Orange.
Girlfriend: You don’t want to drive there! That’s straight up hood!
The look on my face must have shown my total mortification so she did what any good girlfriend does… back pedaled.
Girlfriend: I’m sure it’s not that bad. What’s the street name?
I told her. And she looked it up on Google maps and even pulled up the satellite picture.
Girlfriend: Okay you should be okay.
Me: Are you sure.
Girlfriend: Ummmm…. Yeah. I’m sure. Just call me and text me when you get there and when you’re leaving and when you get home.
I looked at my normally cool, calm, and collected girlfriend and knew I was driving into the straight up hood.
Luckily his building wasn’t too bad. When I arrived he told me to park next to his car. Silver S500. I rolled my eyes. Every time I saw that damn car it reminded me of my ex. He drove that exact same car but had the numbers changed on the car so that it displayed an S500 instead of the S430 it really was. Not only was I not impressed by that car, the memory of my ex made me disgusted, and it was old. I mean really! Get a damn Honda before you’re driving around sporting an old as Mercedes.
I shook off my judgmental side, texted my girlfriend to let her know I had arrived safely without any bullet holes in my chest, walked into the building, knocked on his door, and “Marvin” answered the door. There he stood all 6’5 of him with his over bite, and broad shoulders. I walked into this spot and it looked like… well it looked like a place someone lives who just threw a bunch of shit together. Old furniture, plastic plants, and of course a big ass flat screen TV. Why do men do that? Why will they have some shitty ass furniture and then a brand new 52 inch TV? I looked around and tried to make sure my facial expression was not showing the inner monologue which was going on in my head. Which was:
This man is a broke down, 50 something LOSER!!!!!! He’s no Michael Jordan! He clearly doesn’t have his shit together. How in the hell am I going to cut this date short?!
“Marvin”: Would you like a glass of wine? I know you like Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand so I stopped at the store and got you a bottle.
Things were looking up. At least he had a little bit of sense. Although when he took out the bottle I could tell it was definitely one of the cheaper brands. Of course my inner loving diva had to chime in.
Monique why are you being so hard on this brotha? He hasn’t done anything to you besides be broke and old. Give him a chance. At least let him take you out to dinner. As a matter of fact try being honest with him. Tell him why you’re feeling a little apprehensive.
“Marvin” poured me a glass of wine and we sat on his couch and talked a little before we headed out to dinner.
Me: “Marvin”, I have to be honest with you.
“Marvin”: Of course. What’s up?
Me: I was really thrown off when you were asking me about a job at my company. First of all, I really do not refer people that I do not know like that. Also, given your age and background when you were looking at entry level positions it concerned me.
Me: Well at your age, I would think you would be looking at higher level positions. If I am going to date a man who is of a certain age I expect him to have his shit together. And I’m not saying that as a dig. I just want to be honest with you.
“Marvin”: I appreciate your honesty. And I know you’re the type of woman that a man needs to have his shit together if he’s going to step to you. I was a professional athlete for 20 years and then I owned my own company. I’ve never worked for anyone so I was just looking at what was out there.
Me: I see.
“Marvin”: But I hear you and I would never expect a woman to take care of me. That’s my job.
Me: I just wanted to be honest with you.
“Marvin”: I appreciate you honesty.
I was hoping “Marvin” didn’t think I was some younger Simpleton that didn’t know the ways of the world. Lots of these older men probably start dating younger women once women their age get tired of their shit. They might think a younger woman is naive and more tolerant of their bullshit.
We headed out to dinner. When we walked in the hostess greeted us.
Hostess: You and your daughter can follow me this way.
Oh my goodness! She thinks this man is my daddy!!! Good Lawd. When we sat down I excused myself to the ladies room. I looked at myself in the mirror.
What are you doing here? You’re not really attracted to this man, he’s obviously broke, AND he’s old!
I didn’t realize I wasn’t alone in the bathroom until I heard the toilet flush and another lady in her mid to late 50’s came to the sink to wash her hands. She chuckled to herself, dried her hands, and as she was leaving me patted me on the shoulder. For the mosey men reading this blog, yes women have a secret language in the ladies room. We go there to bond. I pulled myself together and walked back to the table. “Marvin’s” back was facing me and for the first time I noticed a shiny bald spot at the crown of his head. Now I’ve dated men who are bald/balding but for some reason on him it just looked old! I recognized I was being vain, I also recognized I shouldn’t have agreed to go out with him again. But I was here and wanted to make the best of things.
We finished our dinner. He paid with cash again. When he got up from the table he shook his knees out. He told me before his legs often cramp up from old basketball injuries. We got into his car and drove back to his place. On the way he was playing some old school slow jams. It was jamming!
Me: Which station is this?
“Marvin”: It’s a mix tape I put together.
Me: A mix tape? Like a cassette tape?
“Marvin”: (chuckling) Yeah. I’m old school.
Me: Yes you are!
When we got back to “Marvin’s” place he walked me to my car. I managed to deflect his kiss with a hug and 3 pats to the back (the international sign a woman gives when she’s just not into a guy). “Marvin” ultimately got the hint and his phne calls and text messages dwindled until I no longer heard from him. Let me be clear. “Marvin” was a nice guy. And there are a lot of men who are his age but look young and have a younger spirit.
What was it about older men that attracted me to them even at the young age when I first fell in love with Billy Dee Williams (pause for laughter)? They had sophistication, a charm, knowledge, power, confidence. Hell, even when I was in high school I only dated seniors as a freshman. But what I realized was I was limiting myself over the last few years. There are some guys my age who I wouldn’t even give the time of day just because I was overlooking them for an older guy to fit into my box. I realized I can no longer set all of these limitations when it comes to dating. I needed to hijack my list and also get rid of the notion of what my man is supposed to look like, act like, and do. And instead go with the feeling. I know ultimately my gut wouldn’t steer me wrong. I won’t say I will never date an older man. But what I will say is I need to stop limiting myself and blinding myself by my own expectations. Instead I will go with the flow. I have no idea who my soul mate will be but moving forward I was going with the feeling. Out with the old in with the new. Pun intended.