That’s the Breaks!t
She’s baaaaack! It feels good to come out of the dating darkness into the light and feel hopefulness again. I try to learn a lesson with each dating experience I have. So what did my last dating experience teach me? Well… Hmmmm… I learned that I can still feel for someone and get excited about a potential relationship. I learned that it’s okay to take a chance and let your walls down. Although the potential relationship turned out sour as a lemon I can make Lemonade knowing that the part of me that wants to give love is still alive and well. My goodness, the man who ends up worthy enough to truly experience that from me is going to be one happy man! And I’m actually excited about giving my love to someone worthy. I promised myself that I would not let this experience take away from my true soul mate. There I go digressing…
Most importantly I learned as much as I am open for a relationship and excited about the possibility of forever with someone. Being by myself and happy is far better than being in a relationship where someone isn’t honoring who I am and where my needs aren’t being fulfilled. I could have stayed married if I thought that was all I could get. There are MAJOR benefits to being single and happy than settling for some bullshit! I am once again embracing my Singledom and enjoying dating myself again. I have made the conscious choice to take a dating break for a while until I meet someone worthwhile to change that. And I am not doing the bitter woman bitch rant, “I don’t need a man.” Hell, we all need men. And there is nothing wrong with saying that. That doesn’t make you any less of a woman or any less independent. I am simply enjoying Me while I wait for the right WE circumstance.
Perhaps I am not the only person who has decided to go on a dating break. Well, maybe I shouldn’t call it a dating break, but instead I will call it taking a self discovery moment. Here’s how I am spending my time:
Taking ME out on fabulous dates. Once a week I have vowed to take myself to a nice restaurant or try a new wine at a great bar and enjoy sitting there by myself. And when I say sitting by myself, that doesn’t mean distracting myself with my iPad or going through Facebook and Instagram on my iPhone. Nope! I am staying in the moment and just enjoying being out by myself. I have said this before, if you can’t date yourself how in the world are you going to know how to date someone else?!
Revising my vision board. I realized I hadn’t updated my vision board since 2012. A lot has changed n the last 2 years. My needs, wants, and desires have grown into something bigger and more specific. So I am taking the time to focus on the board and not rush through it. Each night this week I have dedicated to spending time in my meditation room updating my vision board.
Revise your list of what you are looking for in a relationship. I guess that could also be part of your vision board.
Refocus on my passion projects. My friends have been informed I am no longer available weekend days because I am focusing all of my energy on my passion projects. (more to come on that)
Spend time around happily married couples and people who are in loving new relationships. There is something so precious about being around a couple who is passionately in love with each other and experiencing the highs of new found love. And there is also something endearing about being around married couples who are still friends with each other and have a solid foundation. It’s important to surround yourself around what you are ultimately looking for. It lets you know it’s possible. And it’s always nice to see it in action as a reminder.
Spend time bonding with loved ones. Whether it’s a random phone call, having them over for dinner, or sending them a card. Reach out to family members. It’s easy to get lost in this shuffle we call life. One of my favorite quotes, “Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you will look back and realize they were big things.”
Last and certainly not least enjoy your ME time. There is something so wonderful about coming home to peace and quiet, blasting Bravo TV, walking around your house in the nude, eating breakfast for dinner, sleeping in the middle of the bed, and coming and going as you please, and living your life on your own terms. That doesn’t mean you don’t want a relationship, but there is something to be said about having time to yourself and enjoying it.
Even a self proclaimed serial dater has to decide to wait on what’s right instead of spending time I will never get back. It’s time to get back to the basics. Don’t worry; I have an entire dating rolodex I can reach into for tales of foolery from past dates. But for now, this Serial Dater in taking a much needed dating break!