I’ve Fallen…

black woman partying

With the holiday season comes a lot of parties, mixers, and over all hanging out to close out the year. And you know how I have a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out), so the holidays are very dangerous for someone with my condition.

Happy New Year! I made it through the holidays unscathed and feeling really good.   I know it’s been a while since I have posted.  But I’m baaaaaaacccckkkk!!!!  I must admit, I have missed you guys!  And a part of me feels like I have left you hanging for far too long.  But hey, a sista needed a break and some time to regroup and refresh.  And as I have always said, I am not going to write a bunch of bullshit just to fill time.  I want to make sure I am bringing you all things worthy of reading.

With the holiday season comes a lot of parties, mixers, and over all hanging out to close out the year.  And you know how I have a severe case of FOMO (fear of missing out), so the holidays are very dangerous for someone with my condition.  In my own defense there were a few events/parties I missed out on.  Okay, maybe just one… but I’m really trying to get better with that in the New Year.

Prior to making that semi-resolution I found myself double and sometimes tripled booked some evenings during the holiday.  It’s LA and unlike most areas of the country where you are fighting the snow and freezing cold temperature.  Here in LA we are still rocking open toed booties and we complain when the temperature hits 50 degrees.  So it makes it easy for hanging out during the holidays.

One Saturday in particular, I was exhausted but had already committed to going to a two different holiday parties.  And one thing about me, when I give you my word, my word is Bon.  One Holiday party was at a friend of mine and his wife’s house.  It was in the hills and very grown and sexy.  It was my close circle of friends.  There was laughter, great food, great ambiance, and plenty of eggnog that I couldn’t drink because I knew I had to make it to another party later that evening.  Just as I was finally settling in, it was time for me to leave.  Although I was really enjoying myself I still decided to head out to the other party which was a birthday party for a friend of a friend.  I didn’t know any of the people that were going to be there outside of my mentor and her friend that I had just met when we went to a Pilates class together.  Her friend mentioned she was having a birthday/holiday party.  She also said that she never has enough women there because her husband always invites more of his friends.  Naturally my ears perked up.  A party with more men than women?  That is unheard of; I was thinking perhaps God was sending me an early Christmas gift.  With that motivation I left the party I was already at having a great time to high tail my ass to Pasadena.  After all, it is good to step outside of your comfort zone.  Although deep down inside, I really wanted to stay where I was with my close group of friends but I had to practice what I preach.  Lots of times you get stuck in your comfort zone and do not venture out to see what else is out there.

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A party with more men than women? That is unheard of; I was thinking perhaps God was sending me an early Christmas gift.

After a thirty minute drive I found myself walking into a full on house party, complete with a DJ and a full crowd of people on the dance floor in the living room.  There is nothing more awkward than walking into a party late and where you know absolutely no one there.  But I was feeling real good.  My hair was on point, I had on a killer little black dress, and I had finally found the perfect shade of red lip gloss for the holiday season.  You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t the shit at the moment.  You know those times when you just feel really good about yourself.  I’m not being arrogant but I was just having one of those moments.  Even if no one else saw it, I felt it.

I went into the kitchen to drop off my bottle of wine and was scanning the room for my mentor or her friend throwing the party.  The house was quite big.  Then I finally spotted the birthday girl.  I was so relieved to see her.  She walked towards me, and I lifted my hand up to wave at her.  Just as I opened my lips to say “Hey girl” was when I felt gravity leave from below me.  I didn’t realize she had a sunken in living room and there was a step.  It happened in slow motion, my feet literally slipped from below me and my black ass fell!!!  It wasn’t a trip.  It was a full on “bust yo’ ass” fall to the ground.  And I am 5’8 and my brand new heeled booties had me standing at a good 6’1.  And it wasn’t a graceful fall.  As I was falling I found myself reaching to grab the birthday girl and almost brought her down with me!  It was one of the moments when I swear the music screeched to a halt and there was silence.  Once I finally hit the carpet with a loud crash.  I looked up and saw the birthday girl shake her head in disbelief at me, and a few other members of the party looking over like, “Is he okay?  Who is that?  Damn!”  I didn’t know what to do.  But like I always say, it’s not about how you fall it’s about how you get back up.  So I hopped up and tried to play it off, “I’m here!”  At that moment I felt a tap on my shoulder and there was my mentor with her husband (whom I had never met before… what a great first impression.. Oh God!).  They were on the dance floor and witnessed the whole thing!  I was mortified.  I am a klutz.  I always have been inclined to trip over my own size 11 feet.  But it had been a while since this had happened.

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It happened in slow motion, my feet literally slipped from below me and my black ass fell!!! It wasn’t a trip. It was a full on “bust yo’ ass” fall to the ground.

My mentor:  Are you okay?

Me:  Well, I’m here!  (I was still trying to play it off and laugh it off).

My mentor:  this is my husband.

Mentor’s husband:  Nice to meet you.  I’ve heard a lot of great things about you.

(I couldn’t’ tell if he was trying to clown me or not)

Me:  Thanks!  Nice to meet you too.  If you two will excuse me, I need to find the ladies room. 

My mentor pointed me in the direction of the ladies room.  And I slowly walked up the step I hadn’t even noticed before.  I tried to ignore the pain in my knee from the fall.  The last thing I needed was to not only be the dumb ass who busted my ass in the middle of the dance floor. But to add to the resume I had to limp out would have really sent me over the edge.  I went to the ladies room and gather myself together.  How in the hell could I play this off?  It’s one thing if this happened with my close friends.  We could all have a good laugh.  Suddenly the confidence I felt when I walked into the party was a mere fourth of what it was.  I looked at myself in the mirror and started laughing.  What else could I do but laugh?  I also made the executive decision to hightail my ass out of the party.  After all, I had no idea how I was going to be able to play that off.  And I certainly didn’t want to have to explain myself all night and try to play off the fact that I had fallen and busted my ass in the middle of the party.  I walked out of the bathroom and snuck out of the house.  I made sure to look down the whole time to ensure there weren’t any hidden steps lurking around the corner.

I sent a text to my mentor:

Girl I snuck out.  I can’t believe I fell.  Let’s connect in the new year! 

She responded:

I’m so sorry that happened to you.  But I wish you would have stayed. 

I got in my car and went right back to the party with my close friends.  I was welcomed back with open arms and laughter when I told them what happened.  I sat down relaxed and had the glass of egg nog I wanted to have in the beginning of the evening.

Profile of Black woman against cloudy sky

When you are single it is easy to find yourself constantly searching for that someone or something that you can miss out on what is right in front of you waiting for you to just take the time to stop and notice it. And it took me falling to realize, I need to sit my ass down somewhere and just breathe and take a damn break. And that’s exactly what I did during the rest of the holiday.

When I got home that night I realized that my FOMO (fear of missing out) condition had gotten out of control.  Why didn’t I just stay put where I was and enjoy the evening instead of leaving to go to the other party in the first place?!  It took me falling and busting my ass to realize that while you should be open, explore new things, and step out of your comfort zone, there also comes a point when you need to just breathe and take life in.  When you are single it is easy to find yourself constantly searching for that someone or something that you can miss out on what is right in front of you, waiting for you to just take the time to stop and notice it.  Between work, networking, friends, family, and passion projects you can find yourself just on the go and doing THE most.  And it took me falling to realize, I need to sit my ass down somewhere and just breathe and take a damn break.  And that’s exactly what I did during the rest of the holiday.  I relaxed, regrouped and realized that what is right for me will come when it is time.  And more than likely it is going to come from somewhere I least expect in a package that I never thought it would be in.  But I have made the conscious choice to slow down and finally treat my FOMO.  After all FOMO is really just another way of saying you’re always looking for something/someone bigger and better.  And there comes a point in life where you have to recognize what you need is right there if you take the time to actually see it.  I will not go through 2015 with any Fears, including the fear of missing out.  Instead I will go into this New Year with Faith to know that what is for me is for me and patience to wait for what is right without fear.  And finally the wisdom to always look down before I walk!  Cheers to 2015!

Monique K.Bradley

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3 replies
  1. Monique
    Monique says:

    So on point !! FOMO isn’t just a singles affliction … It is what this world has come to … With cell phones and the latest technology that allows you to be completely occupied with talking on the phone, texting, internet surfing, facebooking, etc at all times we never fully engage in any one thing at a time anymore … Sometimes you have to just stop, engage, and take in what you are actually doing … instead of indulging your FOMO. I am definitely also guilty …

    Reply
    • Monique K
      Monique K says:

      I am so glad I am Not the only one with this affliction! This year I am consciously taking the time to stop and take it all in and see what happens. Sometimes I miss the old school. Before the days of texting, social media, and cell phones. But you know that saying, “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge.” We are all guilty of it. But knowledge is power! Happy New Year!

      Reply
  2. Marcie
    Marcie says:

    From the title, I thought you have fallen for someone lol, but once again this is an awesome read! Happy New Year to you! :)

    Reply

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