Colt 45- Part 1

As most of my loyal readers know I have a tendency to be attracted to older men.  Not too damn old.  But I like a man who is in his mid-late 40’s.  I have no idea what it is.  And no, I do not have “Daddy” issues.  I have always liked the presence of a distinguished man.  I have been like this since I can remember.  My first older male crush was… Oh boy… I can’t believe I am about to put this in writing… Billie Dee Williams. (Pause for laughter)  I thought he was the epitome of a MAN.  And then Harry Belafonte in Carmen Jones sent me over the edge.  Lawd Jesus that just did it for me!  So needless to say I like my men slightly older and distinguished a little salt and pepper in the hair never hurt nobody!

However, I recently discovered that even I have an age limit.  Over the Christmas Holidays I went to a party with some girlfriends of mine at HOME in Beverly Hills.  The crowd was… well it was an older crowd.  But hell, it was the holidays and I can make the best of any situation.  Besides, with an older crowd, comes older men.  I looked around and saw a few guys that were somewhat attractive.  One of my girlfriends had a sour look on her face.

Me:  What’s wrong?

Girlfriend:  The men in here are a little too north of 45.

Me:  Well that’s a good thing!

I refused to allow her negativity to rub off on me.  But as I looked around, I had to admit.  She was absolutely right!  But we stayed a while, had a few cocktails and made the best of the night.  I spotted an attractive man standing on the opposite end of the restaurant.  He was tall with broad shoulders, I only saw him from behind.  But I’m also a sucker for a tall man with broad shoulders.  Damn, I’m just a sucker!  Luckily my other girlfriend knew the guy he was talking to.  She is energetic and in a relationship so she had nothing to lose.  Remind me to do a post about picking out your wing woman! “I’m going to find out who he is.  Give me 2 minutes.”  With that she walked across the room and greeted the guy she knew.  And just as she promised 2 minutes later she signaled for me to come over and she introduced me to the guy.  When he turned around, he was somewhat attractive.  And I am a self professed vain bitch.  The first step in fixing the problem is acknowledging that you actually have a problem.  And being vain is certainly one of my issues.  But there was something I just didn’t like about the shape of his mouth.  It was nothing that a 3 year dental plan with Invisalign couldn’t fix.  It’s not like his teeth were crooked, he just had a distinct over bite.

We had a great conversation though.  He was a genuine guy. “Marvin” was a former football player and he played overseas for 15 years.  He was now in the finance industry.  I guessed he was about 47 years old.  Of course he lived in New York but was visiting LA because he was considering moving to the west coast.  My interest was certainly peaked.

We exchanged information and he sent me a text that same night.

It was great meeting you.  To be continued…

Okay!  I liked this brutha’s follow through.  Note to all nosy men reading this blog.  There is nothing pressed about sending a woman a text the same night you meet them.  As a matter of fact we appreciate it and welcome it!  Show some damn interest!  Anyway… I digressed.  The following day “Marvin” called me and asked me out to lunch before he headed out of town.  Of course I accepted.  We met up at Mi Piace in Old Pasadena.  Of course I was running my usual 10 minutes late.  When I arrived he stood up to greet me and gave me a hug.  He was nice and tall.  There’s nothing like being hugged by a man who is 6’3 and above.  You just feel so damn protected and secure.  It is also nice going out with a man who is much taller than you.  I don’t have to put in any effort trying to figure out if I can wear my highest heel without looking like an Amazon woman.  “Marvin” was 6’5.  IT was really nice getting a hug from him,  Not to mention he had a nice chest.  I could tell he worked out.  But that overbite was really irking me!  Of course my inner loving diva had to chime in.

Monique just stop!  Give the guy a chance.  Teeth can be fixed.  At least he is tall.  Would you rather date a short midget with perfectly straight teeth?  Besides it’s not like they are crooked.  You’re being a vain bitch!!!!!

With that I mentally slapped myself and decided to give Bucky Beaver a chance.  After all he was a nice guy.  The conversation flowed nicely.  He told me about what it was like living in France all those years as a professional athlete.  I liked the fact that he was well cultured.  When he retired from life as an athlete he opened his own mortgage company.  And when the economy crashed and he had to close his company he decided to go back to school and get his MBA.  Now he was working with another mortgage company.  “Marvin” was divorced with 2 grown kids.   I could appreciate the fact that he stayed on his grind.  Then of course the topic of relationships came up.  It’s always the inevitable on a first date.

Marvin:  So what’s a woman like you doing single?  You seem like such a catch.

I absolutely hate that question.

ME:  I’m holding out for the right person.  As you know, once you go through a divorce you don’t ever want to go through it again.

Marvin:  I hear you on that.  I’m the same say.  

Me:  How long were you married?

Marvin:  I was married for 16 years.

Me:  Oh wow.  That’s a long time.  How long have you been divorced? 

Marvin:  I’ve been divorced for 8 years.

Me:  Have you had any serious relationships since the divorce?

Marvin:  I have.  I actually just ended a 6 year relationship.

Me:  Six years?!  Wow!

Then I took a pause and did the math in my head.  Wait one damn minute!

THE MATH

Married- 16 years

Divorced- 8 years

In A Relationship- 6 years

Total= 30 years 

Of course my mouth operates faster than I think and I blurted out.

ME:  Well damn!  How old are you?!

Marvin started cracking up!  Well at least the brutha could appreciate my sense of humor and wasn’t easily offended.  He took a long pause…

Marvin:  I’ll put it to you this way.  I’m over 47 and under 53.

Me:  Oh so you’re 52?

Marvin:  Not yet.

Me: 51.

Marvin:  You’re fast with that math!

I looked at him dead in his face.  And suddenly he did look his age.  He was definitely an older man.  A handsome older man… with an overbite.  But he was distinguished.  Could I date a man that old?  Hell, there’s something to be sad about being the young wife to an older man.  He would always adore you and look at you as his young tender roni.  I didn’t realize I had drifted into Neverland until Marvin snapped me out of it.

Marvin:  Are you cool?

ME:  Yeah. I’m fine.

Marvin:  Do you have a problem with my age?

ME:  It is a significant age difference…  Let me ask you this, are you open to having more kids… And don’t get me wrong, I do not have my wedding gown in my purse but these are things I need to know.  You already have 2 grown kids. 

After my last experience with the fatso who was adamant about not wanting any kids after we were dating for a few months this is a questions I needed to know.

Marvin:  Absolutely.  That would be selfish of me to date a woman your age who doesn’t have kids and expect her to not want to have any of her own.

ME:  Well, that’s good to know.

We finished the date;   I noticed “Marvin” paid the bill with cash.  Now my loyal readers know that is usually a signal when a man pays for the date with cash.  It’s not a red flag but it definitely makes my attenas go up.

1-      He’s like to carry cash around because he’s old school.

2-      HE might be married and/or in a serious relationship where he can’t have a record of being out on a date

3-      HE’s flat broke and doesn’t have a bank account or good enough credit to get a credit card.

I already knew “Marvin” wasn’t married because we shared a mutual acquaintance.  SO it was either 1 or 3.  Time would tell…

“Marvin” walked me to my car.  We stopped in front of my car.  And he bent down to kiss me.  The 51 ½ year old with the overbite leaned forward and gave me a nice kiss.  Okay… Not bad… Not great.. the earth didn’t move and I didn’t see stars, but at least I didn’t want to throw up!

 

I got in my car and was in deep thought as I drove home.  Could I date a man that much my senior.  Hell… Michael Jordan was 51 and he looked good.  He just had twins with his new wife who was my age.  One of my mentors was married to a man who was 16 years older than her.  She seemed happy.  But he was a young older man.  And he was a successful entertainment attorney.  “Marvin” was a young older man.  I think his overbite is was turned me off more than his age.    “Marvin” called me later that day as he was heading to the airport.  We made plans to see each other when I went back east for the holidays.  You know me, if the date isn’t a total nightmare I Will give the guy another date.  I usually get all the information I need on the second date.

I had time to ponder… Could I date a man that much older than me?  My mind flashed images of Billy Dee Williams in his hayday and Harry Belafonte kissing Dorothy Dandridge in Carmen Jones.  Hmmmmmm…. Decisions… Decisions…   Something in my spirit was telling me something just wasn’t adding up, something just wasn’t right about this man and it was more than just his age and dental situation…..

To be continued….

 

 

 

 

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