Dating Tips  For Men

You’d be surprised how many nosy men secretly read my blog.  And you’d be even more surprised how many men openly read my blog.  When I sent out my last Cocktails and Confessions invite lots of men were disappointed it was for the ladies only.  On a side note, I have decided to include the Fellas during the next LA Edition of Cocktails and Confessions.  I think we can all learn from each other and it will be nice to hear the male perspective.  Okay… I am digressing already!  My point is, we ladies aren’t the only people reading my blog.  And that’s actually a great thing.  I wish more men would cop up to reading my blog.  However because I know there are a lot of men who are loyal readers, I feel it is my responsibility…  NO actually it is my obligation to do a public service announcement to men.  On behalf myself and other ladies I bring you….

DATING TIPS FOR MEN…

TEXTING

Texting is NOT a conversation.  Texting should be used to confirm a location and time for a date or to let us know you’re thinking about us during the day.  But texting us conversation style does not constitute getting to know each other.  We need to speak over the phone and have many conversations to get to know each other.  Once again we need to speak…. Voice to voice.  Also, lots of times things get lost in translation when texting too much. To be completely transparent this is one of the biggest dating pet peeves single women have.

SEAL THE DEAL

The worse type of guy is the guy who continues to text and call and NOT make plans.  What the fuck?!  We aren’t looking for homies we are looking for love.  Seal the damn deal!

SOCIAL MEDIA ETIQUETTE 

Do not send FB, Instagram, or Twitter friend requests too soon in the beginning of dating us.  We want to get to know you personally not through social media.  We also don’t want you going through all of our pictures and timeline before we know who you really are.  It’s a turn off.  And on a side note, just a heads up for you Fellas.  It really is a bad move to become FB friends when you haven’t cleaned up your home.  Meaning, some women that you aren’t “dating seriously” make it a point to piss on their turf.  So they make it a point to tag you in FB pictures and have pictures of you and them up on their page so the outside world thinks you are indeed in a relationship.  And just because you aren’t tagged in their photos doesn’t mean they aren’t making it public on their page so others can see it.  There are so many guys who have gotten caught out there by the “non Girlfriend, Girlfriend… Jump Off… In The Meantime Girl… Random” because although they are saying they aren’t in a serious relationship with someone there is a thirsty lady out there staking claim to you on FB and making it public on their page.  So it is really in your best interest to NOT send those requests too early as well.  See I try to help the Fellas out as well.  LOL!  Men!

TEXT MESSAGE ETIQUETTE

Do not ask us to send you a picture too soon.  It comes off creepy.  AND… I have to say this because it has happened.  DO NOT send us unsolicited pictures of your penis.  I don’t care how proud you are of it and if it is made of platinum.  If we do not ask to see a picture of it.  Do NOT SEND IT!  I know this should be a no brainer but you’d be surprised.

WE WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN

If you’re interested and felt there was a connection on the date.  Do not wait too long in between dates to make plans for another one. When we are into you, we can’t wait to see you again… right away.

COURTING

Take the lead.  At the end of the day all women want a man to take charge and plan things.  Courting is a forgotten science that needs to be reintroduced to the world. Back in the day, men knew how to be men and more importantly women allowed the man to be a man.  Even the most successful women want to be treated like a lady during non work hours.  We like to feel like our man is taking charge and taking the lead.  Even the most high powered, driven, and successful woman wants to feel protected and taken care of by her man.

MONEY TALKS

Do not talk about your finances early on.  If you are in a financial slump be creative about the dates.  It not always about how much you spend but how you can make a date feel special.

DATING AN EXECUTIVE- INDUSTRY ADVICE

Here’s one specific to LA- if you are in the entertainment industry (i.e.- an actor, writer, rapper, etc.) and you are dating a woman who happens to be a high level executive in the industry or a producer for a hit TV show do NOT ask if you can send her your script, resume, headshot, demo, etc. That is a huge turn off.  Our red flag immediately goes up and we start to look at you side eye like we are being used for our connections.  Wait for us to ask you for it.  Let it be our idea.  Do not under any circumstances be the first to suggest it!

DISAPPEARING ACTS

If you’re trying to reconnect with a woman that you went out with a few times and lost touch with and haven’t contacted her for months or if you have gone Ghost and decide to reappear.  Address that within the first 30 seconds of the conversation; don’t act like you hadn’t dropped off the face of the earth.  For instance, “I know it’s been a while since I reached out and I apologize.  I had a lot going on personally and I want to make it up to you…blah…blah…blah…”  I can’t say that she will choose to still deal with you.  (I personally wouldn’t) but at least you have acknowledged you kind of messed up!

THE EX FACTOR

Don’t talk badly about your ex. When you make the statement “My ex is crazy…”  We look at you side eye because more than likely you drove her to her craziness.  Also, women who have gone through divorces know there are two sides to every story.  I’m not saying there aren’t women who are really nut jobs.  But when you make yourself out to be a Martyr, talk about it too much, and constantly make it seem like you were the angel and your ex was the worse person on the planet it comes off like you are full of shit.  If she is crazy the truth will eventually reveal itself.  As a matter of fact, don’t talk too much about exes we really don’t give a shit.  We don’t care.  We don’t want to know!  The only time it is truly necessary to talk about your ex is if you have children with her and we will have to meet at some point once the relationship gets serious.

START-FINISH LINE

Most importantly, finish the way you started- don’t stop trying to impress us and woo us once you have us.

I’m sure I might have left out a few things and if I did, don’t worry I’ll do a Part 2!  But I think these are the major ones!  There is an art to dating and no one is perfect.  Hell, I am sure there are many dating tips I could get from the Fellas!  I’m sure when I say this I am speaking on behalf of a lot of ladies.  I am not looking for perfection.  I know that doesn’t exist.  And I am FAR from perfect myself.  But what I am looking for is a man who is perfect for me who will be my partner.  I believe being a partner in a relationship means you bring out the best in that person.  You help that person find and fulfill their purpose in life.  And together you build a strong foundation emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.  But in order to get there.  You have to date.  And the early stages of a relationship are so important as you build your foundation.  If you can take these tips you might be on your way to a second, third, fourth date.  You’re welcome in advance!