Dear Married Men…

After yet another DM message from a married man to meet him for drinks while he is in town… I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands.  This is unlike my usual long blog posts.  This is more of a public service announcement.  I have no idea what is in the water.  And I know I ain’t given out a vibe that says this is okay and I am interested.  So on behalf of single women everywhere, I feel it is my duty… even more so, my obligation to write this open letter to married men who are up to no good!

Dear Married Men,

We don’t want you!  We are not interested in being your friend!  We are not interested in having the headache your wife suffers from having to deal with your shenanigans.  We are not interested in meeting with you for drinks, coffee, dinner, lunch, a hike, a cracker, a chip, nothing!!!!  We do not want to meet with you when you are in town for a business trip without your wife present.  WE do not want to meet with you even if we live in the same city.  If we are not friends with your wife and your wife does not know us and your wife is not aware you have reached out to meet us, then you are up to no damn good!  We are not interested in hearing you complain about the issues you are having with your wife and being an ear for you to vent to.  That is not our job… that is the job of a licensed therapist or here’s a thought… have the conversation with your wife!  We do not think it is cute nor do we find it flattering when you try to flirt with us.  We think it makes you a dirty dog and have no interest in entertaining your advances!

We do not appreciate you sneaking into our DM’s on social media to tell us how beautiful we look.  We do not like nor do we find it attractive for you to make flirty comments on the pics we post.  Perhaps there is a misconception that single women of a particular age are desperate and would consider giving a married man a try… negative.

While we understand there are some skeezas, skanks, hos, side chicks out there who lack self-esteem and a moral compass that will actually respond to your advances and meet with you for a “friendly” drink, I can assure you, most women have no interest in going down that road.  And for the women who do, the karma you will suffer will supersede any issues you are having with your current wife.  And for the women who actually meet up with you because they are pretending to be naïve and not know your hidden agendas, they are still considered a side chick too!

While we have seen the side chick/other woman end up with the man they cheated with, we are fully aware that the way you meet your man is the way you lose them.  That woman will eventually be the woman sitting at home waiting for you to come home.  That woman will ultimately be the next woman that you complain about how “She let herself go… She doesn’t understand me… She doesn’t support my dreams… when we first met she had a career now it’s all about the kids… We don’t have sex anymore… She makes me miserable… I’m only staying for the kids… she is a nag… Blah… Blah… Blah…”  We single woman have no interest in fucking up our karma for someone else’s man.  It is downright insulting for you to think we would entertain your ass!

For those married men who are considering divorce and want to see if they have  chance with a woman they find attractive and want to take us out on some test dates… we don’t appreciate that shit.  For men who are separated yet still living with your wife.  Not interested!  I understand divorces take time.  But if you are still living with your wife and no paperwork is filed… boo, you are still a very much a married man.  Until you are separated and living out the house with your divorce papers in the court system do not even attempt to reach out.

Do not think by saying you are only married because you do not want to disrupt your kids’ lives and as soon as your kids are older you plan on moving forward with ending the marriage, that we will consider going out with you.  Reach out to us once the kids are older and you are divorced and if we are still single, we might consider giving you a shot.

I am fully aware that men cannot be alone.  As a matter of fact, men will typically set up their next situation before moving on from their current situation.  I have seen it happen before, a man starts dating a woman while he is still married, he finally gets divorced and is with the new woman for years and years.  He cheats on her, she has the audacity to get mad although when she initially met him he was still married, he finally decides to propose because after all he was able to sow his royal post-divorce oats and that woman stayed and was ole’ faithful, they get married only for the same cycle to happen again.  OR sometimes they never get remarried and you’re the chick that is with this man for years and years waiting.  Why?  Because the way you meet a man is the way you lose him.  How can you expect a man who cheated on his wife with you to be true to you?  How can you ever fully trust a man who started seeing you when he was still married AND living under the same roof as his wife?

When you reach out to us single woman whether text message, DM’s on social, or bumping into us at a party and asking to hang out afterwards, we are well aware of what you are up to and we are not interested!

So for the love of God and YOUR wife who you took vows with, take the time and energy you are placing on trying to holler at us single ladies and holler at your wife.  Take her out for drinks in the same way you are trying to take us out.  Talk to her about your marriage woos and concerns.  And if that still doesn’t work, then go your separate ways and then reach out and try to holler.  We understand there are two sides to every story but we are not trying to become the 3^rd side of the story!  Figure your shit out!

We single ladies are out here living our best lives, drama free.  We are not interested in fucking up our karma because of your foolery!  We have no desire to mess that up over some bullshit!  We are out here minding our business and looking for eligible and available men.  Please do not creep into our DM’s with some foolishness.  Stay in your lane!  And leave us the fuck alone!

Sincerely and not fucking around,

Single Women Everywhere